I have no idea what they keys are to dating. Maybe it’s because I have the lock?
(I had to edit this post and ditch threading this analogy though the entire post because I left myself one for way too many “That’s what she said” jokes). I know I am the only one who thinks I am funny.
But in all seriousness, just named my blog post so people would read it. Full discloure.
Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of Sex in the City. I haven’t seen all of the episodes. I know, blasphemy, but if I did it wouldn’t have the impact it’s having now. Even 5 years ago it wouldn’t have resonated because I wasn’t single and I didn’t live in the city. Are you picking up what I’m putting down?
Top 2 Reasons Dating Isn’t Working For You
We put a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves. It gets super messy when we don’t know ourselves and what we want. There are many factors that go into dating, but for this post let’s focus on two obvious ones.
- Holding on to the “what ifs” and past relationships
- The fear of putting yourself out there; aka rejection
A thread that somehow permeates a lot of my blogs posts is the human condition of us wanting what we can’t have. In dating, this can also be applied.
You can have 5 other individuals who would love to date you, but you hold on to the one that prematurely broke things off or the one we saw “potential” with. You might have come to that same exact conclusion, but because it wasn’t your idea you don’t like it.
If I put half the energy into dating other interests than holding on to “what could have been” I will not only be happier, but allow for something to happen. When we are holding on to something else it already creates a blockage for anything else to happen despite the possible potential.
So back to the key and lock situation… We have to let go of the old key because every time we start to date someone else we have a new lock. Sometimes we just need it spelled out, without exceptions.
First Things First
- Let go of what your ex did and the picture in your head of your dream person so you can allow space for the here and now
- Acknowledge what you want in a relationship and go after it
- If you go after someone who is unavailable that’s a sign
- Or if you are pushing someone away, that’s a sign
If most us took the time to reflect on ourselves instead of complain about the dating pool, we might actually get somewhere?
And if all else fails, grab a bottle of wine and indulge in some quality time with Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte.
I am still bad at dating. Any advice is welcome below!
There’s no better time than now,